As I read through Shop 4 Kids, and look at the ads (the ones I can discern from the rest of the magazine, that is), I am struck by something.
The kids are clean. Way too clean.
Take this ad for example:
Cute kid, Levi clothes, nice picture. Right? But do you see that pot plant in the background? And the boy is wearing a white shirt. Dirt, white shirt, kid.... Why is he still so pristine?
For comparison's sake, I took my son outside. The elements are there - kid in foreground, nice clothes on (not a Levi shirt but a handknitted cardigan. I don't get to have control over what he wears for ever, so while I do there will be handknits!), pot in background.
Two seconds later:
Making sure the other hand gets coated:
What I didn't get pictures of is 2 seconds after that, which involved the eating of the dirt, and the later discovery that somehow he had got dirt inside in his clothes, under his top and into his nappy.
And it's not just the dirt. Here's an adorable little girl holding a gingerbread man. Not eating it, not sucking it, not smeared with icing and covered with gingerbread crumbs.
Here's Toby after being put in the vicinity of food.
(Yes, those are black beans on the table.)
Finally, there's an ad for a new line of children's clothing by Fiona Scanlan of Scanlan and Theodore, Big by Fiona. The ad is focused on the bright colours, so there's an easel, a painted backdrop and a kid holding a paintbrush:
:
You'll note the lack of paint on the clothes or the children. In fact, you'll note the lack of paint on the paintbrush. Probably a good idea.
As I type this though, it occurs to me that maybe the problem isn't unnaturally clean kids in the advertising - maybe my child is just a grot. Given that I've had to get up while writing this to haul Toby out of the garden beds (twice), the potting bench (once) and the weber ash tray (once), and he managed to uproot a dill plant when I wasn't looking, I think perhaps I'm onto something.
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